How Much Love Is Enough?

My parents were married for almost twenty-seven years—four days shy of it, actually—when my mom died. She’d had breast cancer that had already gone into her lymphatic system by the time it was discovered. Twenty-seven years. Not as much time as some people get together. But more than others. And most importantly, they were twenty-seven years filled with love and friendship.

Mom was in her early fifties when she died, and although it was tragic to have her gone so early, especially for my dad, I don’t think anyone in our family considers their story a tragedy. Their story would definitely fall into the ‘romance’ and ‘happily ever after’ categories. Not because of the number of years they had together, but because of the amount of love they had.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what constitutes a ‘happily ever after’ or a satisfying romantic end. Do the characters have to have forty or fifty years together after the book finishes? Twenty years? Ten? Is five enough? What about six months?

Award-winning filmmaker Sue Bourne made a documentary titled A Time To Live, which shares the inspiring (and yes, heartbreaking) stories of twelve people who received a terminal diagnosis. Their ages range from early twenties to late sixties. Some are married, some have children, and the young woman in her twenties was single because, how do you tell someone during a first date that you’re dying?

What I took from this documentary was how these people didn’t dwell on loss; they spoke of love and living richly. This was due largely to slowing down and taking time to enjoy life, and to spending time with their partner. Or, in the case of one woman who left her husband after receiving her diagnosis, finding a new romantic partner.

There’s also the reminder of how each day we have should be lived with joy. Because we don’t know how long we have left. 

So, I keep coming back to the question: How much time is enough time to love someone so that your romance is considered a romance and not a tragedy?

In the third book of the Remains series, we may get to find out.

E.S.